So i have a serious case of the eff-its... I don't care anymore really. There are times when I scream and kick and cry, and then there are times when I really just don't give a rat's rear. Like right now i am tired, stressed out and irritated. I've screamed so much that my throat aches, and my tears no longer fall because I'm all cried out. Here I sit with no way to show my emotion. No way other than to sit. And be. Breathe. Blink. Swallow. Repeat. The brain that God gave me is no longer equipped to handle very serious affairs. I go hysterical at first ear of bad news... I laugh. I laugh because I wish that I could cry. I find myself drawn to sharp objects, seeking relief of any kind. Just wanting to feel anything. So the pain is welcome. Actually the physical pain does not hurt anymore. It tickles. And I laugh. Or sometimes it stings. I flinch. And when the red emerges, I am all smiles. Red happend to be my second favorite color.
But let me brighten things up a bit. I'm not always this way. There are times (very short periods of time) when I am unbelievably happy. I have amazing friends and an amazing boyfriend. And although I would love to say that my family is fraught with assholes, they can be pretty damned lovely at times, too. You just have to get them on a good day.
So this was on Sunday... You know--the one that just passed. So this is my sister, a friends little boy, and me. Isn't he such a cutie? He absolutely refused to give me kiss just because I got a hair cut! But he's a little genius... I love him. He's my little Brandon-Boo! Um in case you don't me, I'm the puckering fool on the left. My evil big sister (God i love her) is the one on the right. It was the most beautiful day outside. The best this year! So spring is here... Hopefully it does a bit to cheer me up, eh!
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